WHAT MY LAST BREAK UP TAUGHT ME

Four months ago, my world was flipped upside down when my then-boyfriend (who I've known for eleven years) broke up with me. It’s crazy what a thirty-minute conversation can do to a one-year relationship. Nevertheless, I want him to know that although I will never forget the countless memories we've shared, I’m not here to thank him solely for what he has done for me. I am here to tell you what this breakup has taught me.

After a month of hating and blaming myself for everything that I've done wrong over the past year, I finally forced myself out of bed. I had no other choice but to move on because I couldn’t live my life crying over someone who wasn't ready for a serious commitment. He broke my heart, my trust and he made me cry. The breakup wasn't easy on me (it still isn't) but it has made me realise so many positive things about myself and my life.

Here are some of the biggest lessons that I've learned about myself after the breakup:

MY PARENTS ARE MY PRIORITY

I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today without my parents. Everything that I am, I owe it to them. That is why they are my priority in life.

Throughout the years, they have not only ensured me their love but their friendship as well. They have taught me how to be a hard-working and grounded individual. They mean everything to me as they are always there for me.

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I AM FAR MORE INDEPENDENT THAN I MAKE MYSELF TO BE

I've possessed the ability to be independent ever since I was a child. At the end of the day, I only have myself to fall back on, so it is exceedingly important to be able to handle things on my own. For this reason, what I've learnt from this breakup is that I need to be secure with who I am and with whom I want to be.

I CONTROL MY OWN LIFE

It was extremely important for me to take control of my life back. A lot of women today put their happiness on hold because of their significant other even though we all know that this is a fatal error to make.

At the end of the day, there is no reason to base your life decisions on someone else because all relationships come to an end. The only thing you can do to change this outcome is to change your perception of what you expect out of a relationship and what you want out of your life.

I LOVE MYSELF MORE EVERY DAY

I strongly believe that learning to love myself more was one of the hardest but most gratifying lessons that I've learnt from this past year. At the end of the day, I would much rather look after myself than anyone else because I am the most important person in my life. The less I listen to myself or understand my emotional and physical needs, the more confused and frustrated I am.

MY FRIENDS ARE EVERYTHING TO ME

My friends are everything to me because they accept me for who I am. There are no expectations or frustrations, just a lot of loyalty and respect. My friends are especially important to me during my times of crisis and emotional turbulence because they keep me grounded. They help me to boost my self-esteem when I am feeling down and they inspire me to be a better version of myself regularly. I am absolutely nothing without my friends.

DAILY EXERCISE IS ESSENTIAL

What I've learnt from the breakup is that exercise is essential to me. Not only has it helped me to control and manage my weight but it has also helped me emotionally - especially when dealing with my most recent heartache. It improves my mood, I also feel less anxious and depressed throughout the day, and it allows me to sleep better at night.

Fernanda XOX